Love is Love No Matter How Broken Or Torn
by Lottsoflove97
Summary: Toby and Spencer's love is stronger than anything, but there love is put to the ultimate test when something unspeakable happens to Spencer that might tear them apart. Rated T for rape, language, abuse, and conversation topics. SPOBY one sided spencer/ian
1. Love

Okay guys! Hey my name is Lottie and this is my first fanfic so be nice okay? Please review and send me your thoughts! They are very important! I dont own pretty little liars, but I wish I did! 3 Rated T for lots of things.

Spencers POV

The cold metal of his truck was sticking into my back, giving me goosebumps. Toby had texted me, saying he wanted to meet me. We had met at our favorite place, the little outcrop at the top of Rosewood, and for the first time in a while, I felt truly, perfectly safe. Toby was the only one that could do that to me...make me feel this way. His arms snaked around my waist and i could feel his warm breath tickling my cheek, and I felt like nothing could ever hurt me. Not A, not Ian, not anyone. I studied his face, carefully analyzing the way his strong cheekbones perfectly complemented his baby blue eyes. How his lips made the perfect sloping M at the crest.

"Spence...Spence...Spencer? Hello earth to Spencer!" I realized he had been calling my name, and he had thus seen me openly gawking at him. Oh Spencer... I mentally chided myself.

"Ohh sorry, Toby, I was just... ummm..." My face felt hot and I knew I must have been blushing way too hard.

"You were just admiring your totally amazing boyfriend and wishing you knew how to be as attractive as him?" Ughh, I hated the way he smirked down at me. His eyes were just begging me to come up with some witty and charming remark, but racking my brain I found nothing. I punched his arm hard instead.

"Oww Spence... Haha just kidding. You're a weakling!" I watched him come closer to me, placing his mouth by my ear, feeling his whispers.

"But you are so going to regret that." Before I could even process this information, he was lifting me onto the hood of his car, pinning my arms to my sides. The attack started quickly, and the agonizing tickle torture began.

"Noo! Toby! I can't take it! I will kick your ass if you do not get off of me right now!" His hands still found my most ticklish places, places only he knew about, like the area of skin right above my belly button.

"TOBY! MY MOM IS A LAWYER! AND THIS IS ABUSE!" My begging and pleading didn't stop him from continuing, and by the time he had stopped the attack, I could barely breath between my eruptions of giggles. If only I had about 300 more pounds of muscle. Then we'd see who'd be laughing.

Tobys POV

I watched Spencer's gorgeous dark brown eyes fill with water as I continued tickling her. She continued to scream at me, things about suing and court and lawyers. She was so adorable, but she also looked like she couldn't take much more of this. She looked as if she was going to explode. Or die. Or explode and then die. That'd be a good one... "Local Rosewood teen Toby Cavanaugh kills girlfriend by tickling." Her whole body shook when she erupted into giggles. Her hair was perfectly messy, flyaway hairs highlighting her striking ivory face and pale pink lips. She is perfect, and she is all mine.

Spencers POV

His hands stop moving. Instead, they went up my body, leaving a trail of fire where he touched me. His rough hands lightly took my wrists and pulled me into his lap.

"I'm sorry Spence. I really couldn't help it. You're just so... tiny." Wait...did he just call me tiny? I take offence to that. Maybe I am tiny compared to him but I am not as defenseless as he thinks! I turned around to tell him this and instead found myself an inch away from the beautiful blue eyes I am so obsessed with. His arms circled my back again, sending a tingling sensation up my spine. All the anger I felt toward him just disappeared.

"I hate this control you have over me." Making my glare obvious.

"Now..what control do you mean?" He gave me one of those goofy, crooked grins he was famous for.

"For making me forget why I was mad at you..." I trailed off. His lips came down to meet mine. I love his kisses. They are so gentle, and loving, but they always had the opportunity to turn into something more passionate and romantic. Our kiss turned heavy and deep, like we couldn't get enough of eachother. I straddled him on the hood of his car, making the unconscious decision to push him up against the truck's windshield. Somewhere in all of this, his shirt came off, exposing his bare torso. It emitted waves of heat, which I am forever grateful for, considering I am always cold and shivering in my suede jacket. The tips of his fingers grazed the skin under my shirt. His gentle touch was driving me crazy. An intense burning in my lungs made me dizzy. Shit. I forgot to breathe. I felt slightly embarrassed for having to break our kiss.

"Spence?" His whisper was barely audible.

"Yeah Toby?" I whispered back.

"I don't really know how to phrase this... but.. are you a virgin?

Tobys POV

She stiffened as I asked her. I immediately regret asking the question. She was blushing, the color showing up especially bright on her pale complexion.

"Well...ummm..I.." She started mumbling, probably shocked I asked the question or at a loss of words. I don't know what to say. She obviously doesn't want to answer my question, but why not? It's such a simple question. There shouldn't be awkward silences like this. Maybe I made her feel uncomfortable. Or embarrassed? I hate it when I do that to her.

"Sorry. I know I caught you off guard there, but I told you about how I lost mine... so I was wondering about yours." She looked down at her lap, and started picking at the nail on her pinky finger. I felt her draw in a breath.

"Well.. Toby... I can't really tell you that, because if I did, I would be lying. You see... I haven't lost it yet."

Spencers POV

I'm so stupid! Why did I tell him that! The guilty, shameful feeling quickly took over my body as I realized what I had just told Toby. That no one has ever wanted to sleep with me. I heard him chuckling to himself.

"What?" I asked him softly. "Do you think it's funny?" I failed at masking the hurt behind my voice.

"No way! It was just..unexpected. I figured, hey a pretty girl like you probably have been with tons of guys by now."

"I'm not that kind of girl Toby." The corners of my mouth tugged upwards in a smile.

"You think I don't know that by now?" My smile morphed into a full on grin. He really does know me after all.

"Toby?"

"Mmhmm?" His ran his hand up my back to massage the tender spot between my shoulder blades.

"When I do lose it. I want it to be with you." We sat in silence for a moment. He didn't say anything. Just pulled me closer to him, kissing my temple and stroking my hair.

Okay guys! Tell me what you think! Please rate, review, favorite etc. New chapter soon!


	2. Beginning

Hey guys! Thanks for all your favoriting, reviewing etc! It makes me SO happy to get reviews and i always love suggestions so please keep reviewing! I have responded to most reviews on chapter 1 but i'm still not sure where I want the story to go.. So, heres a little filler chapter until I decide what I want to do! But remember, things aren't always the way they seem! I dont own pretty little liars :3. xoxo Lottie

Ians POV  
>Where is Spencer? That little bitch is probably still out with her freak of a boyfriend. Doesn't she know what is good for her? I thought we had something special when I kissed her all those years ago. But then Alison had to go ruin it all by blackmailing me into staying with Melissa. I'm so glad she is dead. But what I still don't understand, is that I gave Spencer the chance to be with me again. I gave her the chance to be close to me. But she threw it in my face like the teenager she is. Yes, I know what Spencer thinks of me. That I'm a monster, that I killed her friend. And the funny thing is, I didn't kill Alison, but I probably would have if someone else hadn't done it first. Deep down inside, I know Spencer must have feelings for me. It is impossible for someone to love someone like I love her, and have that love be unreturned. Its just not possible. I fold my hands over my face and let out a sigh. I need a beer. I grab one of the cold, frosted, beers that Melissa left in the fridge for the game next week. Ehh, I'll just blame it on Spencer later. I pop the cap and lower myself into the couch in the living room. I'm not going to deny it. I think shes really hot. I am sexually attracted to her. And everyone is gone tonight. Melissa and her parents went to go pick out baby furniture in Philly, and they won't be back for a while. So that leaves two people. Her. And me. I want her. And I always get what I want.<p>

Spencers POV  
>Toby and I walked hand and hand to my doorstep. He leaned in close, and I could smell the delicious remnants of his vanilla after shave and peppermint soap. His kiss landed right below my ear, his breath tickling the little hairs on my neck. His hands naturally found my waist, pulling me closer. I loved the moments like these. The ones where talking wasn't necessary. Where we could just hold each other, and kiss each other and know exactly what the other person is thinking. We stood making out on my doorstep for a couple of minutes before that damn forgetting to breathe problem made us stop. I considered asking him to come inside, but decided against it because of the conversation we had earlier. He might get the wrong idea. But I knew Toby would never try something like that. He respects me too much. He loves me too much.<p>

"Wow. You really know how to walk a girl home." I glanced at the ground, afraid that I was blushing again.

"Not just any girl, you." His strong hand tilted my chin upwards, and he placed a delicate last kiss on my eyelid. A brief, fluttering kiss, that lasted half a second. But strangely, I valued that kiss more than an hour of making out. I watched him as he got into his truck, flashing his lights three times before he drove away. This was his way of saying I love you one more time. I realized the empty void he left inside me once he was gone. I also became instantly cold again. My hands fumbled with my keys before finding the right one. I unlocked the door and started to creep inside before I remembered I was the only one here for the weekend. Maybe I would take a bath, unwind a bit. Or start the AP Chemistry paper I have due next Wednesday. I walked through my living room, deciding to start my Chem paper in my room, when I saw something that made my blood turn to ice. I stopped dead in my tracks. Ian. On my couch. With a beer. And an angry looking face. Why wasn't he in Philly with the rest of my annoying family? Were they home early? But if they were, why hadn't I seen Melissa's car?

"Creep. What are you doing infecting my living room with your presence?" I put my keys back in my bag.

"You really shouldn't talk to me that way Spencer. You shouldn't talk to anyone that way really. You might end up saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. And get hurt." He stood up, leering at me and undressing me with his eyes. He started coming closer to me.

"Ian, you're drunk. Get away from me."

"Oh silly silly Spencer. I'm not drunk. I've only had one beer. It's your presence that's intoxicating me." What is he doing? Why is he talking like that? And did he seriously just use an 80's movie pick-up line on me? He continued to move closer to me. I really shouldn't be worrying about that right now, I honestly have bigger problems than someone using a cheesy pick-up line on me. Like someone outweighing me creeping closer to me at night in a dark living room.

"Wh-What are you doing perv?" I attempted to mask my quivering voice.

"I want you Spencer. And I always get what I want." He was a few feet away when my instincts kicked in. I gave him a good, hard shove, which sent him stumbling backwards a couple of steps. I had only one thing on my mind. To get away. I ran towards the door. I was almost there when I felt Ian's heavy body slam mine into the wall, causing the pictures to shake on their hooks. I tried to scream, but only small whimpers left my mouth.

"You stupid girl. There is no one else home." He whispered, pinning my arms down and removing the locks of hair that had fallen around my face. I could smell the beer on his breath. His hands didn't have a right to touch me. His face didn't have a right to be so close to mine. Everything he did repulsed me. He sent crawlers moving across my skin. He kissed my neck, my ear, my face.

"Stop it Ian. Stop!" I tried reasoning with him, but he continued kissing me. He leaned in to kiss my lips. I headbutted him instead. If I could just make it too my room I could lock the door, call for help! His hands flew to his head, his screams of pain and fury filling the room, and I was easily able to slip out of his grasp. The headbutt had made me dizzy also, something I wasn't counting on when I thought of my great escape plan. I saw black dots in the edge of my vision, and the living room was swimming before me. I could make out the stairway, so I crawled over in that direction. I had just made it to the top of the landing when I heard heavy footsteps at the bottom of the stairs. I stood up and sprinted, my head screaming at me for doing so, and I stumbled down the hallway at full speed. My hands clung to the wall, and the doorway to my room was in sight when a pair of all too familiar hands grabbed me roughly.

"You...little...bitch." His eyes showed pure rage and hatred as he stared at me. Then the severity of the situation hit me. No one else was here. No one could hear me scream.

AHH! hoped you liked it! So much suspense! What do you guys think is gonna happen? Please review and favorite and subscribe and all the other fanficcy stuff :) new chapter will go up once i figure out where i want the story to go. xoxo Lottie


	3. Nightmares

Hey you guys! I've been getting a lot of mixed reviews so I think I'm just gonna continue the story like I originally planned it! Some of you are going to H. A. T. E. me for this chapter but I promise I will make it up in later ones!Oh and I forgot to mention this earlier but there is no A in this story! Sorry :( I also improved melissa and spencers relationship a little bit but I try to keep most stuff the same. I DONT OWN PRETTY LITTLE LIARS. Review, Subscribe, Share etc...? xoxo Lottie

Spencers POV

The cold tiled shower floor was digging into my thighs, the scalding water trailing itself down my tired body. There was a tingling all over my body from where I had rubbed my skin raw just minutes ago, trying to get rid of the dirty feeling I had inside. It was to no avail. I still feel dirty inside, like I am tainted. Like I am broken. All I know is that Ian had just stolen the one thing I thought I had control over. The one thing I possessed that no one could touch. The thing I had already promised to someone else. Toby. What will he think of me now? That I'm damaged beyond repair? That I'm a liar and a cheater? Waves of emotions run through my mind. Shame for not being strong enough. Guilt for making a promise and breaking it. Disgust for myself. Last night I was weak. I was vulnerable. I was ambushed and now I'm ashamed. How will I tell Toby? No. He doesn't need to know. No one can know. No one can know that the great Spencer Hastings has fallen. I shut off the water and wrapped myself in one of my big fluffy towels. As a child, they used to offer so much solace and comfort, being wrapped between layers of soft, fluffy cotton. Now, they did little to ease my sadness.

A gasp escaped my lips as I looked at my body in the mirror. The towel fell out of my grasp, making a muffled sound as it fell to the floor. The face staring back at me in the mirror was not my own. I was shocked to discover that this person, with the same long, wavy, brown hair, porcelain skin, and big, brown doe eyes was not me. This person had large red circles under her eyes, blotchy skin on her face and red skin everywhere else. This person was covered in bruises, scratches and dried blood that had failed to come off in the shower. I had to accept that this person was me. That I was the one with the bruises circling my wrists, arms and legs, and the scratches down the length of my back and a black eye. But I can't accept it. It didn't happen. It couldn't happen. Its impossible. But seeing all this in the mirror brought back the memories that proved it. Instead of it being just a dream, I was living the nightmare.

~**FLASHBACK**~

Spencers POV (still)

He threw me onto the bed, the metal headboard slamming into my spine from the force of his push. He quickly straddled me, preventing the use of my arms and immobilizing me. He tried to kiss me, slobbering all over me like a dog.

"Help! Please somebody help!" I almost choked on my sobs as I tried to get somebody to help me.

"HELP!" The slap came quickly and forcefully, shutting me up. The stinging brought tears to my eyes, his precise and calculated movements bringing the back of his hand across my cheek. His hands explored my body, rough and desperate, unlike Toby's much gentler and loving touch. He was really going to do it wasn't he? He was honestly going to take my virginity. To steal it. On the night I promised it to Toby. Suddenly, Ian was in his boxers, trying to undress me. Normally, my hands would be resting on Toby's stomach at this point, but they were being used instead to try to force Ian off of me. I was able to wiggle one arm free, and winded it back before releasing all the energy I could muster, bringing my outstretched nails across his cheek in a single fluid motion. He screamed in pain, grabbing my wrists forcefully and shoving me harder into the headboard. The bed groaned in protest. Neither one of us spoke anymore, me out of fear, him out of "ruining the moment." What did he think I was? Some type of toy for his use? I was his wife's god damn younger sister. He tore off my shirt, and my jeans followed shortly after, leaving us both in our underwear. And then he did it. And then he raped me.

~**END FLASHBACK**~

I shuddered at the memories of his touch, still feeling the hurt he caused me. There was a deep ache all over my body. I was still wondering if I should tell anyone about what happened. No. It was decided. No one could ever find out. I had to go about normal life as I would. I would have to go downstairs, and eat breakfast just like I did every morning. I would have to go to school and hang out with my friends and do chemistry papers. I quickly dressed in a long sleeve shirt and jeans, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. The clothes covered all of the visual reminders except for the black eye. I tried to cover it with different combinations of foundations and blushes, but it ended up looking worse so I washed it off and headed for the hallway. Hopefully, Ian wasn't there. I don't think I'm ready to face him yet. I was about to leave when I noticed my bed. The sheets were stained with blood and the headboard was broken where I had been shoved into it. A sudden burst of pain in my shoulder reminded me to sneak some Advil with my breakfast. I gathered the sheets - 800 thread Egyptian Cotton - and ran them through the washer. Does blood even come out of 800 thread sheets? The smell of coffee floated up from downstairs. I needed some desperately. Along with the aroma of coffee, voices floated up from the kitchen. They were home. Thank god I wouldn't have to spend another night alone with him. I stood on the landing, catching fragments of conversation.

"No Ian the crib is powder blue, not baby blue... so you have to get paint that complements the crib... yes thats a good idea babe but we already decided on the blue and yellow theme... okay love you too...bye." Melissa was on the phone with Ian, so that meant he wasn't here. I was safe. For now.

"Hey Mel." I said walking into the kitchen. "How was shopping?" I poured a cup of coffee and took a sip, letting the warm feeling comfort me.

"It was- oh my god! What happened to your face?" Shit. Had forgotten about that. I tried to come up with some brilliant excuse, but I was definitely the worst liar under pressure.

"I...fell." I finally squeezed the words out.

"On what? A wrench?" She gawked at my face.

"No, on the...sprinkler...outside...yah...I was-uh-coming home from Aria's last night and -uh- I borrowed her boots and they didn't really fit well. Its not a big deal."

"Okay Spence, as long as you're okay. I have to go to the post office but I'll be back soon. Put some ice on that okay baby sis?

"Yah sure. I can see your mothering instincts are kicking in early." I mumbled. The door closed behind her. I was washing my coffee cup when I heard a buzzing from under the couch. I leaned under the couch and found my phone. It must have fallen out of my pocket when... I pushed the memory as far away from my mind as I could. If I was going to keep this facade up, I couldn't show any kind of emotion about that night. I had to pretend everything is fine, while in reality, I'm being destroyed inside. I pulled the phone out to see who was calling. The name _Toby, _in neat little letters flashed across my screen. Crap.


	4. Ashamed

hey guys I know I haven't updated in a while but I've been really busy and my computer broke..! So anyways these next two chapters are going to be spencerxtoby ***super cute*** xxxooo lottie Spencers POV bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Glancing at my phone, I saw the neat little letters spelling the name I loved hearing. Or at least the name I used to love hearing. Now I can't bear to see the name. The name reminding me of the promises I made that I will never be able to keep. "Toby." The words flew out of my mouth in a hushed whisper, so soft only I could hear it. I was standing in the middle of the room holding the buzzing phone, unsure of what I should do. What if he knows? What if he's breaking up with me? But I guess he has every right to after all considering I basically cheated on him. A sharp intake of breath sounded from across the room. Before I could realize it was me, all I could see was his face leering at me. His rough hands chafing my sides. Stop it Spencer. I've been having trouble lately in pushing the memory away. The flashbacks are getting more and more violent. According to me, it never happened. So no one needs to know right? If nothing happened? The voicemail icon flashed across the screen. Shit. Toby and I were supposed to meet for breakfast today! I was half way up the stairs when I remembered melissa's orders. Grabbing some peas from the freezer, I glanced again at my phone. "3 missed calls, 2 unread messages." I managed to run all the way to my room before bursting into tears. Tobys POV Why is Spencer not answering? She's kind of OCD about charging her phone and getting places on time. That's one of the things I love about her. So why is she late? The waitress walked up to my table again, looking royally pissed. Her bright pink lipstick and incredibly outdated blue eyeshadow made it just a bit more hilarious. "so... Where's... this date of yours. You sure... she's coming?" The way she snapped her gum mid sentence added to the list of things that made me want to laugh this waitress right out of the diner. "yes I'm sure she'll be here soon, thanks." "whatever honey buns." My thumb hovered over the call button. Should I really call her again? Noo Toby think. There must be some reason she's not here. Something must have made her mad at me. But that doesn't make sense. What in the world did I do? I fired off another text. 5 minutes ticked by on the chrome clock hanging above the vintage soda machine. I could see the waitress circling around back to my table. You know what? Maybe she just forgot, or she had to go to school early. I whipped a 10 dollar bill out of my wallet to cover the coffee I ordered for Spence. I'll just bring this over to her house, she'll think that's sweet. The clock read 7:30. She's probably at school right now, getting ready to suffer through an hour long lecture from Mr. Peyton. Which reminds me I should probably get going to the worksite. I promises Jay I'd take his shift today so I can take Spencer out tomorrow for our usual Saturday night dinner. Let's hope she doesn't forget about that too. Spencers POV "5 missed calls, 7 unread messages, 1 unheard voicemail." It was only 7:30. I'm usually at school right now, getting ready for history. I was considering skipping all together but that would mean something was wrong, so being a little late won't hurt. I'm friends with Mikayla anyway, so I'm sure the attendance staff won't mind. I started to get ready for school, carefully selecting an orange and white striped dress and a white leather jacket. I released my hair from my ponytail and pulled it back with a white headband, letting the auburn waves fall to my shoulders. I started to practice my excuse for my black eye. "I fell on the stairs." No, too close to the truth. "I Walked into a lamp." No, too unbelievable. "I was walking to the coffee shop when someone elbowed me by accident." Ahh it was perfect. I hopped in the car and drove into the parking lot just as Aria was toppling out of her car. After parking in the adjacent space, I prepared to face everyone. I took a deep breath, and thought back to my middle school years. I was nominated best actress in the play "beauty and the beast." I can definitely do this. It's just like acting. I just have to pretend everythings okay and everyone will believe me. I stepped out of the car and was immediately greeted by Arias high pitched squeals. "Spencer! What happened to your face?" I recited my rehearsed excuse to her, which she believed. I went through the rest of the day on autopilot, laughing with friends, answering questions and taking notes. Honestly, I was thinking about Toby all day. Thinking about him and how much I need him, but can't bring myself to face him. About how much I love him. Hope you liked it! This was only minor **super cute** but more later. Ohh and please please please review. I was so sad when I only got a couple reviews on the last chapter!:( I love hearing your criticism and ideas! So review it up! Xxxooo lottie 


	5. Avoidance

Hey there you wonderful people of the fanfiction world! I got a new laptop and decided to update today...:) so SURPRISE! this is a minorly spencerxtoby *supercute* chapter, but the big one is coming up next! I just had to clear up a couple things before the big reveal! Hope you like it! And if you do, there is a bright blue button down there that you would love to push now isnt there? Chapter rated T+ just cause Ians a perv. xxx Lottie! 3

Spencers POV:

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. _The sounds of the hands moving around the standardized classroom clock filled the room. Every tick made me flinch. Each tick means it's one more second closer to the end of Friday afternoon, and the start of field hockey practice. Until the first time I have seen Ian since... well.. since the incident I refuse to acknowledge ever happening. I felt a sharp tug on my sleeve, and turned around to see Aria trying to pass me a note. Thats wierd, Aria loves English... why would she be goofing on and passing notes? I grabbed the folded note, and started to read what she had written in her delicate handwriting. "_Hey, are you okay? You seemed a little bit jumpy today. Did you and Toby have a fight or something xxx- Aria" _My heart sunk reading his name. Last time I checked my phone, I had 12 missed calls and 6 unread messages. I couldn't possibly think of talking to him at a time like this. I've barely been keeping it together since that night. I failed a pop-quiz in Chemistry today, fell behind on all my homework and double faulted six times at my last tennis game. I have never failed anything in my life! Am i fooling anyone at all? After thinking for a moment, I hastily scrawled on the back of the note and passed it to Aria. "Yeah Im fine. Just that time of the month you know?" I flinched in my seat as the bell resonated in my ears. Aria was write about that jumpy thing. The bell sounded and a chorus of good-byes resonated through the room. Another sharp pain shot through my shoulder, so I shifted the weight of my books and started the walk to the locker room. Although I had tried to keep the questions at bay, they always found some way back into my mind. Why me? Why did Melissa marry him-that-that monster? Why didn't I fight harder, scream louder or stay out longer? I pushed open the blue painted door to the girls locker room and headed over to my locker. The other girls were just finishing changing, so I was almost alone. I pretended to be struggling with my locker combination, silently fending off tears, until the last one, a senior named Cassia, had left. I couldn't change in front of people until the bruises healed. Until every last reminder of that night disappeared. Once all the physical reminders were gone, there was nothing that proved that night had happened at all.

Ians POV:

"GET IN LINE!" I tapped my pen against the attendance sheet in my hand, before starting to read off the names of my varsity players.

"Barns, Amanda." A stocky brunette raised her hand in the back.

"Evergreen, Leighton." A tall redhead in the front row smiled and waved,

"Hastings, Spencer." Ahh Spencer. I scanned the faces quickly before realizing she wasn't among the crowd.

"Anyone seen Spencer?"

"Yeah coach she's in the locker room!"

"Thanks Cassia. Do you mind finishing attendance while I go grab her?" I gave her the clipboard and started to jog across the field.

Spencers POV:  
>The locker room air was way too cold for this early in the year. Goosebumps rose all over my exposed legs, stomach and arms, while I slipped on my blue field hockey uniform and warm-ups. The polyester agitated a lot of the bruises on my thighs, and I was considering taking them off when I heard the pound of the door clanging shut. I should probably get out on the field. I don't want to piss off Ian again. I turned around and my blood ran cold. Before I could react his hands were on me, shoving me against the lockers.<p>

"Did you think I was done?" He placed a finger on my trembling lips, before roughly grabbing my arm.

"Don't say anything." Oh no not again. What did I do to deserve this? He yanked my sleeve down to expose the bruises on my arms.  
>"How did it feel Spencer, to finally realize your love for me?" His breath smelled like pizza and garlic, and his face loomed before mine. Did he honestly think I loved him? Did he honestly think I would ever be this close to him because I wanted to! I drew up all my strength, before looking him straight in the eyes.<p>

"I, will never love you." I watched as his eyes grew dark with rage and this time, I was prepared for the stinging slap he brought across my cheek.

"You lie. Of course you love me! Say it! SAY IT!" The clang of the door opening again echoed off the lockers. Ian quickly backed off of me before running out of the partition. The cold lockers provided little support for me as I slipped down them, defeated. I sobbed silently into my hands. How can he do this? Just trample all over me whenever he wants? It took a couple minutes, but I was able to pull myself together. I walked straight out the door and to my car.

Tobys POV

This has gotten ridiculous. It has been the better part of 3 days since I have heard from

Spencer. She is so OCD about her phone, I don't understand how it could be away from her for more than 3 minutes. She has everything on there, her calendar, appointments, pump up playlists. So she hasn't lost her phone. So it must be me. I whipped out my phone, and before I knew what I was doing I was typing in a vaguely familiar number.

"Hello?" The other voice chimed through the line.

"Hi, Aria? This is Toby."

"Hey Toby, what's up?"

"Not much really, I was just wondering if Spencer has been keeping her phone on her like she usually does?"

"Yeah, she always has it on her. Why?"

"No reason really. She just hasn't been answering my calls or texts or anything. Do you know if she's mad at me?"

"Really? Thats not like Spencer. If she was mad at you, we'd definitely know by now. Are you guys okay? I've noticed she's been acting jumpy lately."

"We're fine, but thanks Aria. I'm going to go check in on her. Bye."

"Bye Toby! Hope you talk to her." I hung up the phone. So it IS me. What in the world did I do? I try so hard to make Spencer happy, and all of a sudden she is ignoring my calls? What's going on?

Spencers POV

I flung open the door to my living room.  
>"I'm announcing my presence!" Of course no one would answer me at 3:00 in the afternoon. Mom and Dad were at work, Mel was at an ultrasound, and the other infectious thing was coaching. I slipped my bag off my good shoulder, and pulled my laptop out. I opened it to see the much-happier faces of me and toby. So much for starting that history paper. I need some air. I walked to the doors, and was about to open one when it swung open by itself. In stepped a familiar pair of baby blues.<p>

"Hey Spence."

Ooh cliffy! the next chapter is the big confession! whatd you guys think? PLEASE REVIEW. I get sad when you don't. xxx Lottie


	6. Confession

duh...dah...duh...dah...DUH...DAH! The big reveal! I was sooososososo excited writing this! Please review? I love getting your lovely little reviews! but not when they're mean! one or two made me really sad! it takes me around two weeks to polish off a good chapter so please don't pressure me into updating sooner! based of off fight in episode 2x14! xxx Lottie

Spencers POV

"Hey Spence." Toby stood merely feet from me, close enough to make me want to run into his arms. His baby blues lit up with curiosity as he started to let himself into my living room, the lingering remnants of his usual combination of vanilla and peppermint filling the air. Oh god, oh god this isn't good. This is NOT good! I nervously ran my fingers through my hair, averting my gaze from Toby.

"Spencer what is- Woahh. What happened to your face?" He started to reach out to me, trying to sweetly take my face in his hands and make everything okay again. But all i saw was his hands coming towards me, just like Ian's hands once did. I dodged his touch effortlessly, watching as the expressions in his eyes changed from curiosity to confusion to hurt. He stared, waiting for me to say something, to say anything in response. I folded my arms over my chest protectively. This was the moment I was dreading. Seeing him for the first time since it happened. He can't know what happened that night. He wouldn't want me. No one wants damaged goods.

"Oh. Hi Toby." I managed the smallest of fake smiles. "Oh yeah, I got hit at the umm... coffee shop the other day." My eyes wandered around the room, looking for something to focus on that wasn't him. What was I supposed to say to him now?

Toby's POV

I watched as Spencer's eyes fidgeted around the room, looking at everything but me. She was acting so distant lately, and now I'm here and it's like I don't even exist. I don't know what I was thinking coming here. I guess I was expecting an explanation or excuse or something. But this? No. I wasn't expecting her to blatantly lie to my face like this. We never lied to each other.

"Spencer, seriously! What is going on with you lately? These last few days you have been completely blowing me off. Not answering your phone, ditching our plans. You are basically cutting me out of your life! And we both know that you don't go to coffee shops. You like to know what's in your coffee. So why are you lying to me?" I watched as she continued to run her fingers through her auburn waves, her eyes purposely avoiding mine once again. I heard her inhale sharply.

"Honestly Toby, It's none of your business." She headed towards the door, her eyes glistening. Possibly with tears.

"How can you say that Spencer! We have been in this together since day one. Whatever is making you act this way is definitely my business!" She placed her hand on the door, pushing it open. I can't let her walk away from this! This is not the fiery Spencer Hastings I know, and whatever secret she's hiding from me is what changed her. I need to find out. She was halfway out the door when my instincts took over. I walked over to the door, angling my body so she couldn't leave. I grabbed her waist sternly before pushing us both back into the living room, shutting the white french door with the back of my sneaker.

"Spencer! Tell me what's going on!" She looked at me briefly, making eye contact for a single moment. But that one moment was long enough for me to make out the shock and fear in her eyes.

"For everybody's sake just stay out of it!" She started to turn away from me again, pulling on the oversize sweater hanging on the back of the kitchen barstool.

"Stay out of what Spencer!" My hands were clenched by my side as she stood there in front of me, telling me there was something that I wasn't supposed to know. Some secret part of her life that I wasn't involved in.

"I can't do this right now Toby. I really just can't!" She started walking across the kitchen, heading towards the front door. I grabbed her wrist and spun her around so she had to face me. I was about to speak when I noticed it. A little brown mark peeking out above the sleeve of her sweater. I pulled down her sleeve, exposing her forearm. The once porcelain skin was riddled with bruises and scratches. Pulling down the other sleeve exposed more of the same.

"Spencer..?" My voice trailed off as I looked her over. The black eye. The bruises. Whatever this was, it was serious. She tugged at my arms, trying to free herself from my grasp.

"Toby just let me go!" She continued to struggle against me.

"No. Not until you tell me what is going on. Please." I softened my voice, pleading with her to tell me the truth. She stopped pulling against me as tears started to fall from her eyes. I firmly grasped her elbow with one hand, while using the other to wipe her tears.

"Please." I said again, forcing her chin up so she could look at me. Then she fell into my arms, as the tears came harder and faster. Her breath grew short and rapid as I let her cry in my arms. I just held her tight, and savored the feeling of having her in my arms once again. I held her until her sobs turned into sniffles, and her breath returned to normal. I led her to the couch, where I made her sit down next to me as I was holding her.

"Spencer, please. Whatever it is you can tell me." I looked at her carefully, as she rested her head in her hands.

"No Toby, I can't. You are going to hate me." I pulled her face out of her hands and made her look at me.

"I could never hate you." I heard Spencer inhale sharply again as she prepared to talk. She rested her head on my shoulder as the words came tumbling out of her mouth.

"Toby. This is really hard to say. But the other night, after you dropped me off at home...I...I.. Well I thought no one was home so I came inside and...and Ian was here and he was drunk and he... he raped me Toby." She started to cry lightly as I finally realized what she had said. I fit together all the pieces. The not wanting to be touched, the bruises and scratches, the avoidance. Ian had raped her.

Spencers POV

"He...he raped me Toby." I started to cry lightly as I realized what I had just told Toby. He knows now. I looked up at him to see his face. He portrayed pure anger on his face. I knew I shouldnt have told him. Now, he doesn't want me anymore. He stood up quickly and began pacing.

"Toby. Toby are you okay?" You could basically feel the anger waves coming off of him.

"No Spencer I am definitely not okay. Ian touched you. That little creep was all over you, I just want to find him and..." He punched one of the cream pillows on the sofa before sinking back down onto the couch. He cradled his head in his hands before turning to me. He took my hands in his.  
>"Did you... did you call the police?" I shook my head no.<p>

"Why not Spence?" His eyes were filled with concern and worry and most of all, vengeance.

"I was scared Toby. I was so so scared and I couldn't face anyone after the fact. Especially not you. I just thought that if no one acknowledged it, it would go away. But it didn't." More tears rolled down my cheeks. " I was scared no one was going to believe me. I was scared he was going to come back for me again. And I was scared i was going to lose you Toby.' He looked down at me and I saw that his baby blues were glistening with tears too.

"Spence we need to call the police! I'm doing it right now." He made a motion to get up but i grabbed the bottom of his jacket. forcing him down again.

"No Toby. Just hold me."

OKAY. There it is, the big reveal! But just so you know, the story doesn't end here! Tune in next time for a bigggggg suprise! (*HINT* shes not pregnant!) II so LEAVE A PRETTY LITTLE REVEIW DOWN THERE PLEASE AND THANK YALL FOR READING! 3 xxx Lottie


	7. Retaliation

**Well hello there! So sorry it took a little while to get this chapter up but i had to make it perfect, because the surprise is BIG. Thank you so much for all your reviews! Im really happy with them all! I read each and every review and consider every suggestion, SO PLEASE REVIEW! xxx Lottie**

**Tobys POV**

I was awoken by a deep ache in my lower back. I opened my eyes to see an unfamiliar blurry world. As I blinked my eyes the world stabilized, and Spencer's living room came into focus. Spencer and I were sprawled out on her living room couch, our legs intertwined together. Her head was resting on my chest, the diagonal patches of late afternoon light from the blinds casting shadows on her face and neck. For a moment everything was peaceful, blissful even. But all too soon the memories of the early afternoon came flooding back. My muscles tensed up, and the arm snaked protectively around Spencer held her a little bit closer to my chest. I still couldn't believe it. Ian touched her. Ian touched Spencer. MY Spencer. My arm tightened again, and this time Spencer started to stir. She lifted her head from my chest and looked around sleepily. A look of recognition passed over her face. She turned towards me and her mouth formed a huge grin.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty." I said, laying a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Well Hi Prince Charming, what time is it?" Spencer nuzzled her head into my chest again.

I shifted my gaze to the clock centered over her stove.

"Its a quarter of seven." Her eyes met mine again, then grew wide.

"Toby, you need to go." The urgency in her voice was clear. She sat up and started to move off the couch.

"Uhhh okay..?" I stood up and followed her into the kitchen, where she was nervously pacing.

"Umm Spence..?" I said again.

"No I'm sorry Toby, you really need to go, Ian's going to here any minute! If he sees you he's going to- " She ran her fingers through her hair.

"Spence-" I interrupted. "I'm not leaving! I'm not letting him come near you ever again. And since you won't let me call the cops on his pervy ass, and I can't punch him, I am NOT leaving you."

**Spencers POV**

He reached out for me, trying to pull me into a hug.

"Toby! You don't understand!" I said, dodging his embrace. "You see these?" I showed him the bruises on my forearms. "He gave me these because he wanted to. What do you think he will do to me if he actually has a reason! Like if I told you what he did!" My eyes started welling up with tears again. "I'm scared Toby." We stood there, staring at eachother.

"Spencer! Let me protect you! Let me call the police on Ian. I can make him go away!" He was pleading with me.

"Do you really think calling the police will make it okay? Do you think it will make everything go away! Sure, lets call the police Toby, then what? What evidence do we have? Nothing! All we get out of it is telling everyone I was... I was.. I was hurt and no one will believe me." I can't believe he was still pushing the issue. I ran my fingers through my hair once more.

"Spencer. Why is it so hard to tell people what happened?" He gently grabbed my elbow. He looked in my eyes, and I realized his true intentions were to make me feel better. But it only happened a couple of days ago, how could he expect me to get over it like this?

"Toby... You just don't -" I was cut off by the resonating thud of the door slamming against the wall. We turned around to face the front door, only to see the smug faces of three cops and Ian barging through the door. I stood there, genuinely confused for a minute. I felt Toby wrap his arms around my waist protectively, as I tried to make sense of the situation.

"Toby did you-!" I started to say.

"No Spence I would never do that to you!" The cops approached us with determined looks on their faces. Ian leered at me from beside them.

"Toby Cavanaugh?" The taller cop with sandy blonde hair said. His name plate read Detective Wilden.

"Umm yes, thats me but why-" Toby started to respond. Before he could finish the two other cops walked over and started pulling the two of us apart. A younger cop named Garrett Reynolds wrenched me away from Toby, grabbing my waist and arms and pulling me back.

"TOBY!" I reached out for him trying to hold him again. The last cop pushed Toby against the kitchen counter, before slapping cuffs on his wrist.

"Spencer!" He yelled, trying to wrench his way out of the Detectives grasp. Amid all the chaos and screaming and fighting, Detective Wildens voice rang out loud and clear.

"Toby Cavanaugh, You are under arrest for the rape, attempted rape, and domestic abuse of Spencer Hastings. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law, you have a right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you.." I thrashed against Detective Reynolds, yelling at Wilden.

"You've got it all wrong! He didn't touch me! It was Ian! Please listen!" Garrett held me back, despite my fighting as they led Toby out the door and into the police cruiser parked outside my house. Wilden continued reading Toby his rights as I collapsed into tears. I saw Ian smiling from the corner of my eye.

"It was you! It was you Ian! I swear I'm gonna-" I yelled, thrashing some more against Garretts iron clad grip.

"Spencer calm down." Garrett said. "Its all over now, Its all over. Hey thanks for the tip Ian, without it we wouldn't of even known there was a rape in the first place. We'll need you both to come down to the station for a statement." He started leading me towards the car.

"Detective Reynolds please listen to me! It was Ian. Ian hurt me not Toby! He'd never hurt me, please you have the wrong guy!" I pleaded with him but nothing I said made a difference.

"Wow Spencer. I know you love him but this is low, even for you." Ian's voice rang out from behind us. "He hurt you Spencer, you have to face it! I know he pretended he was your boyfriend, he pretended he loved you but deep down you know exactly what happened- he hurt you. Time to tell the truth." This was the last thing I heard before I was taken into the other police cruiser and forced inside. I spent the first part of the ride yelling at Garrett to let Toby go, how it was Ian. It had no effect whatsoever on the situation. We spent the rest of the ride in stony silence.

OOO

**Spencers POV** **(still)**

I watched Toby from the other side of the glass window of his interrogation room. He sat cuffed to the table alone, while Ian was off giving some kind of fake statement of his own free will. It was so not fair. I was barely able to make out my own reflection in the window, my hair messy and mascara smudged. I tried giving a statement earlier, but after I was told for the third time to stop defending a rapist, I gave up. With tears in my eyes, I watched Wilden walk into the interrogation room and spread out multiple pictures on the table in front of Toby. From what was visible, I could make out candid shots of me and Toby in my living room. One of Toby grabbing me, one of him holding my bruised wrists and one of me pushing him away. Garrett was standing beside me, watching me carefully, as I scrutinized every detail. Wilden took out a sheet with printed text on it and put it next to the photos.

"You see these Toby?" Wildens voice crackled over the speaker. "This is all evidence that you raped your girlfriend. What was it Toby? Did she not want to give it up to you, so you thought it would be okay to take it?"

"NO! I never touched her! I love her!"  
>"You keep saying that Toby. But have you seen Spencer lately? That must be some pretty tough love." He slammed his hand down on the table to emphasize his point.<p>

"Its not like that! I didn't do it!"

"Yah? Well we have an eye witness statement from Ian Thomas that says he saw you rape Spencer, and was too scared by the violence you showed towards her to intervene. The pictures plus the witness statements. Put two and two together Toby. It makes four every time. Now if you want to confess and get a reduced sentence we can arrange that."

"Its funny though, because you guys have a way of putting two and two together to make five. This is all circumstantial evidence. You never even asked if I had an alibi. You know what, I want a lawyer." Toby sat back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. Wilden slapped the desk one last time and stalked out of the room. I couldn't believe this was happening. The one guy that I truly loved, that I truly trusted was being arrested for something that the monster in law had done.

"Garrett, I need to borrow your phone." I said stonily.

"Why?"

"I'm getting Toby a lawyer." I held my hand out impatiently for the phone.

"Wait- let me get this straight. You're getting your rapist a lawyer?"

"Just give me the damn phone!" I said forcefully. He looked at me shocked and handed over his phone. I punched in my mom's number and listened as it rang. On the fourth ring she picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She said quizzically.

"Mom. I need you."


	8. Defiance

**Well hola! So the new chapter is up today and i worked really hard on it so please review and favorite and stuff :). 3 It makes me happy! I was so ecstatic to see all your feedback from the last chapter! Hope you like this one! PS I would like to point out that on the real PLL Spencer is the only one who's still a virgin :) XXX Lottie**

**Spencers POV**

"Spencer? What is it? You know you're not supposed to call me during the day." My mothers sharp, clipped tone sounded in my ear. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other while I spoke.

"Look Mom, I need your help. Toby's in trouble and-" I was cut off by the same clipped impatient tone my mother used only with me.

"Now wait Spencer, Toby's in trouble? What kind of trouble? You know I never liked him." I could tell she was getting angry.

"Mom listen! He needs a lawyer, will you help him or not?!" My sudden outburst earned me some uncomfortable stares from Garrett. I felt the pressure behind my eyes grow before tears started to cloud my vision.

"What are the charges?" I could hear a faint ringing in the background, like keys jingling on a hook or a distant fire alarm.

"Rape, Attempted Rape and Abuse. But he's completely innocent Mom you have to help him!" I was pleading now. I heard my Mother exhale deeply on the other side of the line.

"No Spencer. Obviously if the police have him in custody they have sufficient evidence against him. I have more important things to do."  
>"But Mom you don't underst-" Before I could finish I heard the dull click of the line going dead. I can't believe she's not going to help. She didn't even give me the chance to explain! The tears came faster down my face, dripping onto my shirt and leaving wet circular marks. I raised my fist and brought it down against the double sided interrogation window with all the anger that had built up inside me. The rape. Ian's smug face as he had Toby arrested. My mom refusing to save the one person I truly love in this world. The glass shook a little in its pane after absorbing the impact of my fist. My hand crumpled with pain. As much as it hurt, it was enough to help me clear my head and realize what I had to do. I tossed the phone at Garrett before striding confidently down the hall towards the interrogation room.<p>

"Ms. Hastings you can't go in there!" Garretts' voice followed me down the hall. The rational voice in my head was saying to stop, to listen. They were the cops after all. But the emotional side was singing a completely different tune. They had framed Toby. My Toby. They didn't deserve my attention. I turned the cold metal handle of the interrogation room door and looked inside the doorway. Sometime in all the confusion, Wilden had left the looked up from the chair he was sitting in and met my eyes with a look of complete shock. We held each other's gaze for a brief moment, which was ended by Toby standing up and spreading his arms wide. There wasn't a thought in my mind as I ran right into his waiting arms. One arm wrapped around my waist and the other circled my shoulders. His shirt became wet as I buried my face in it to block the tears that were freely flowing. The warm, safe feeling returned for the first time as Toby kissed the top of my head. Thundering footsteps echoed down the hall as Garrett chased us down.

"Ms. Hastings! Only the legal representation for Mr. Cavanaugh is allowed inside the interrogation room. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I felt him firmly grasp my arm and start to tug me away. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave him. Toby gently grabbed my waist and pushed me behind him protectively. Then the idea hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Officer Reynolds you can't ask me to leave because I AM Toby's legal representation." A confused look flickered across his face briefly. Then, without a word he turned around and stormed out of the room. I turned to look at Toby.

"Toby I-" He cut me off with a gentle kiss.

"Spence I know how hard this must be for you. You're the strongest person I know, and I love you for that." He wiped away my tears with his thumb, and pulled me in for another warm embrace. "But do you know what you're doing?" I managed a laugh beneath my tears.

"Please Toby, I come from a family where our dinner table talk consists of naming laws and solving theoretical cases. I got this." The sharp click of heeled dress shoes came from down the hallway as Wilden walked casually into the room, holding the manilla envelope. He motioned for us to sit down with one hand.

"Well then I guess we should get started. Mr. Cavanaugh are you sure you want Ms. Hastings here as your lawyer?" He grabbed my hand under the table.

"I couldn't ask for anyone better." A smile spread across his lips.

"Okay then-" I have to keep my cool. I have to defend Toby. His future is in MY hands. I felt the little switch in my brain turn on as I started to recall everything about Lawyers and Crimes and Laws.

"Detective Wilden before I start I would like to know why you didn't ask Toby in for questioning before issuing a warrant for arrest?"He looked stunned for a moment, before recovering and answering back in a condescending tone.

"I believe I will be the one asking the questions here Ms. Hastings." I folded my hands on the table.

"But Detective, you didn't even ask for Toby's alibi before arresting him. Your case is paper thin. You don't have any evidence that proves he was the one who..." I inhaled deeply. "...raped me. All you have are some photos of a fight and a shady eye witness account. Thats not even enough for probable cause. Now if you ask me that is some sloppy police work that could get you fired." I stared him straight in the eye as his shocked face returned. His face started turning red as he realized what a huge mistake this was.

"Well-well-I...I" He stammered.

"Now, as you can clearly see, the only thing worth investigating is the brutality and corruption inside this police force. So, unless you want me to get a _real lawyer_ and sue your ass off, you will release Toby, and clear him of everything. Are we clear?" I smiled sweetly before rising to my feet. Toby rose beside me.

"I think we're done here." And with that, I grabbed Toby's hand and we walked straight out of the station together.


	9. Authors Rant

HOLY MOTHER FREAKING GOD. This is a freaking authors note so i am very sorry for everyone that thinks this is an update. Because we all need an updated amazing SPOBY story right now. So here is my freaking authors RANT: by the way: SPOILERS about #thebetrAyal. I AM GOING TO KILL ABC FAMILY. How could they do this to SPOBY? First you make Spence lose her virginity to Toby and they have this whole loving amazing scene and then you go and blow all our hearts to smithereens by revealing that he is working with mona. Like if thats not a betrayal i dont know what is. HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE. By the way to all of you fanficcers still reading this... I had an update for tonight, and i was going to upload it right after PLL... but now i cant even think about Toby and Spencer. Like, this means that the very basis of this story is a lie. How could he do this. I am bawling. Just I cant think of why or how Abc family could do this. JUST HOW. Their relationship was my favorite part of that whole show and all of a sudden its revealed as a LIE and that the guy i loved and wished for as my boyfriend was actually working to torment his girlfriend! WHAT THE FREAK. How is Spencer going to react when she finds out that Toby is on the A team. Like I cant even breathe right now!  
>Alright i am semi calm now. Sorry for that rant. But, this just makes the whole story i spent so much time writing seem like another lie. The relationship and supporting and loving eachother... they just cant. Did i mention how pissed I am that abc family FREAKING SET US UP!? they make us all really happy by finally having Toby and Spencer have sex for the first time and then they just kill us all by saying he was the betrayer. THAT IS THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL. the only reason i am not pulling this story off is because I have one theory. One theory that makes me cling to the small chance that Toby is actually still good!<br>This theory is that you know when Toby said he was going to figure out for himself what Spencer was hiding? Well maybe he visited Mona and is going undercover to get information on A. SO maybe he really does still love spencer more than the world and abc family is just being a twisted company of bitches and trying to make us believe he is part of the A team. I know its a really thin thoery but its the only thing i could think of that could possibly even remotly explain what happened tonight. Ill have my update up in a couple of days, because even though the show screwed us all over, SPOBY WILL REMAIN IN MY HEART. And i will, i swear to you i will, continue their relationship on this story because it needs to go on. And i will make sure the good hearted and amazing Toby that we all know and love will continue to live on in this story. Thanks for reading my authors rant. xxx Lottie


	10. Confrontation

**Wow.. I really suck. im sorry for not updating, ive been so busy with school and everything and boom its october. So hi there! Hopefully by now we've all cried all our tears from the season finale and ready to fill our hearts with some good old fashioned spoby loving! Cause thats why Im here! To keep the OBY in SPOBY. I know i said i would have it up in a couple days but each time i almost posted it I thought of something I wanted to change.. :( I spent a real long time contemplating what to do with the story after this and (I think) i have a really awesome plot line planned! I got some reviews from concerned people saying they were worried the story was gonna end, but don't worry! LIL isnt going anywhere! Also, to "chocolated. dreams" emily lost her virginity to ben, as was told in a flashback in season one :)! xxx Lottie**

**Toby's POV**

I smiled down at Spence. This girl is amazing. She single handedly released me from jail without batting an eyelash. I'm so lucky to have her by my side again. She is so strong. Stronger than anyone I know. We stopped walking as soon as we exited the police station. We stood on the steps of the station. We weren't speaking, just looking at each other with expressions of relief and love. Her auburn waves were messy and tousled, her black mascara left tear lines down her pale ivory cheeks, and the bruise around her eye had changed to a greenish-yellow blob, but in my opinion, she had never looked more beautiful and strong then she did now.

"Aww.. you think you're so clever don't you?" The chilling voice of Ian rang out from behind us, as his echoing footsteps made his presence known. I felt Spencer stiffen beside me as we turned to face him. Tightening my grip on Spencer, I pushed her behind me to maximize the distance between them, as the grin on Ian's face approached us.

"You think you're so clever..." he continued. "But you shouldn't be too proud of yourselves. Cause tonight Toby, you can sit at your home knowing Spencer lost her virginity to _me, _instead of you." His smile spread wider across his face as he jammed his hands in his pockets and started to walk away. My face flushed with anger as the hand around Spencer tightened even more with all the rage I was keeping bottled up inside. My mind ran at a million miles an hour, but it only took a second for my decision to be made. Walking away from Spencer, I approached Ian's retreating form, ignoring her pleas to come back. I tapped Ian on the shoulder quickly, and he turned around surprised, his mouth forming a perfect O.

"I am definitely going to be proud of myself for this." I said, smiling. A split second later, my fist connected with his jaw with all the force I could muster. The blow knocked Ian off his feet, as Spencer started yelling and crying in the background.

"Toby! Please stop lets go!" I felt a tugging on my sleeve, and looked down to see a frantic Spencer pulling me in the other direction, towards her house. I took one last look of Ian's body, crumpled on the ground and moaning in pain, before following Spencer down the street as fast as our feet could carry us.

**Spencers POV**

I watched in horror as Toby's fist connected with Ian's jaw, producing a sickening crunch as Ian fell to the ground. A small shriek escaped my lips and the world turned blurry with the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"Toby! Please stop let's go!" I pled, grabbing the worn hem of his cotton sleeve. Ian was going to be so pissed! My stomach churned with the thoughts of what he would do to me for Toby's outburst. I tugged at the sleeve some more until Toby complied. I grabbed his hand, and our fingers intertwined before our feet hit the pavement running, leaving our footsteps behind as the only proof we had been there in the first place. We ran the whole way home, and in twenty minutes we arrived at the house, our lungs burning and our limbs exhausted. Out of breath and panting heavily, I leaned on my knees as Toby and I tried to catch our breaths.

**Toby's POV**

We leaned back on the edge of the Hasting's grass, chuckling, at the last half hour of our lives. For a brief moment, everything was back to normal, and as I snuck a sideways glance at Spencer, I could see the flush in her otherwise pale complexion. She was still chuckling, her hair fanning out on the grass. I inhaled steadily, trying to restore my breathing to normal. We rested in silence for a while, until our breathing stabilized. Spencer turned her head towards me, an unreadable expression on her gorgeous porcelain face.

"Toby... What you did back there.." Her sentence trailed off.

"I know Spence. I know. It was reckless and stupid, but I couldn't help it. He hurt you. I couldn't let him get away with it." I met her big doe eyes with mine. "I just couldn't..." She snuggled into my side, the late almost-summer sun starting to set down the street. I snaked my arm around her, holding her close, doing my best to protect her now, even though I couldn't when it really counted. All too soon, our peaceful silence was broken by a high-pitched yelling from the Hasting's house.

"SPENCER JILL HASTINGS! GET INSIDE THIS VERY MOMENT!"

**Tobys POV (still)**

We stood before Spencer's parents, Ian and Melissa, the death glares making it seem more like an executioner's squad. Her grip on my hand tightened, the terrified and confused look on her face increasing with every moment of strenuous silence. I've never seen Spencer quite like this before. Standing in front of this "court", she seemed almost... vulnerable. Peter cleared his throat and took a menacing step forward, setting him apart from the pack. Spencer stiffened, waiting for him to speak.

"How dare you," Mr. Hastings started with his waxed brows furrowing, "How dare you step into this home after what you have done to this family."

"Look dad I", Spencer started. Peter raised his hand abruptly, cutting her off completely.

"I will deal with you later. I was addressing Mr. Cavanaugh here."He turned his icy cold glare to me.

**Spencers POV**

I looked up at Toby's face, the confusion causing a dark cloud to appear over his perfect features. Clearly I wasn't the only confused one.

"Dad please what are you-" I tightened the grip on Toby's hand, snuggling into the side of his flannel shirt.

"Spencer! Shut up!" Dad turned his gaze on me again, looking at me with a disgusted expression, like I was last weeks chinese takeout.

"Were going to have a talk. Right now, the lies end." I could feel the stares from everybody in the room. I didn't want to, but slowly, I raised my eyes, meeting everyone elses. I saw my mothers puffy eyes from crying, her chanel mascara smeared, Melissa's disgust, much like my fathers, and Ian's creepy gloat sent chills down my spine. Of course he was behind it. I knew it. Toby shouldn't of punched him, who knew what he had planned?

"Spencer come over here." I pulled closer into Toby, not wanting to cross the living room to face my father's wrath.

"Spencer NOW!" His raised voice made everyone jump, including Toby. Dad's face was bright red and he looked as if he had too much to drink. A tense second passed, hanging in the air heavily. A heartbeat later he crossed the room, angrily grabbing my arm and dragging me across the room.

" Hey! Dad let go of me!" I grasped at Toby, but I was already too far away from him. He threw me onto the couch, my shins slamming into the coffee table, probably leaving two more bruises. I saw Toby make a move toward me only to be cut off by a death glare from my father.

"You raped my daughter." he said, putting his hands on Toby's collar and slamming him against the wall. "And then you, both of you, lied. And tried to frame Ian. You're lucky I don't kill you right now." He shoved Toby again, the pictures rattling against their hooks.

"Dad please stop!" I yelled from the couch, my voice shaking with fear. What was going on here!?

"Spencer I don't have time for any of your lies. Now you, Toby, get out of this house and never come back. And if you so much look at Spencer again, I WILL kill you." He said, shoving Toby towards the door. I sprung off the couch, trying to cross to Toby, only to feel the rough hands of my worst nightmare grabbing me and holding me back.

"TOBY!" I yelled, my vision blurring from the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Mr. Hastings you have it all wrong! I love your daughter, I would never-" Toby trying to defend himself only seemed to make my dad angrier.

"OUT!" The metallic sound of the door slamming against the frame sounded through the room as I struggled against Ian.

"Spencer you are never seeing that boy again! Do you hear me!?" Ians hands released me, and I was suddenly standing before my fuming father, close enough to see the botoxed veins popping from his forehead.

"Dad please let me explain! You dont know the truth!" Melissa scoffed from across the room, stepping forward on her new heeled Louis Vuittons.

"We know the truth Spencer. You're a lying attention seeking whore who tried to frame my husband because _your_ sleazebag boyfriend couldn't keep it in his pants! You tried to ruin my happiness, you tried to ruin my _marriage!_" She started sobbing, my mother patting her straightened auburn hair and pulling her in for one of the comforting hugs I was never able to receive.

"Mel all this stress isn't helping the baby. Let me drive you to Philly. Come on, grab your coat, let's go." She sharply turned around, collecting her things at my mothers request.

"Melissa-" I tried to speak but it was obvious no one cared enough to listen. This was twisted. No one realized that they had it all wrong. That they kicked out the one person that I actually needed to get through this. Tears fell from my cheeks, leaving splotches on the mahogany floor.

"Spencer," my dad started again, "Tell the truth this time. Why didn't you come to us when Toby.." he cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "...raped you?" The door slammed again as Mom and Melissa left.

"Dad for the last time, Toby didn't rape me it was Ian!" I screamed, begging to be heard. Ian stepped across the room to stand by my father before replying.

"How can you stand there and accuse me of raping you? I'd never do something like that. I know you think Toby loves you and you're protecting him but grow up Spencer. Your childish lies and games aren't fooling anyone anymore." My father sighed, exhausted, sinking his head into his hands.

"You know what Spencer. I can't handle this. I'm going to see how you're sister is doing. Ian, call Mrs. Montgomery and say Spencer needs to stay with her until we get back. Make sure she gets over there safely and make sure she doesn't see Toby. Meet us in Philly when you're done." I watched in horror as my dad grabbed his coat and slammed the door shut, leaving me with the monster again. As soon as the headlights from my dads car vanished from the window, Ian was next to me. He grabbed my wrists harder than ever before, slamming me against the wall once again. My hip banged the corner of the bureau, causing an eruption of pain. I couldn't bring myself to meet Ian's eyes.

"I told you not to tell." He said, simultaneously slamming me against the wall again. "You will _never _ever cross me like that again am I clear?" His eyes burned with power and hatred. I couldn't form words. All I could think about was how I allowed this to happen. What did I do to deserve this? Was it about that time I poured glue into Naomi's hair in the fifth grade?

"Answer me!" Ian shoved me again, pinning my arms above my head.

"Y-yes Ian. Clear as crystal." I whispered, terrified, tears cascading steadily down my face.

"Good. Because its been a long day and I need to relieve some tension..." He stripped my sweater off, forcing me onto the couch, before my world collapsed in on itself once again.


	11. Reuinited

**I really do suck. I'm not going to make any excuses but school has been so stressful and I had a billion other things to do :'( Well I'm sure you all heard about what happened in Connecticut. It makes me sick to my stomach to know 20 beautiful angels were taken and will never get to grow up and be an asset to this world. Makes me wonder what went wrong in his life to make him take away so many babies from us. I needed something to keep my mind off of this so here ya go... xxx Lottie**

**Spencer's POV**

Ian's pale face swam before my eyes, his sadistic grin burning itself into my memory. I keep begging for him to stop, his rough hands chafing my sides, my legs, my neck. My palms start sweating, my heart beating sporadically.  
>"Spencer..." He says groggily. I refuse to answer him, to look at him, to think of him.<p>

"Spencer...!" He says it a little louder this time, in an almost feminine high-pitched voice.

"SPENCER!" An eruption of pain blooms on my skull, as I sit straight up and my head bangs on the slanted ceiling. I'm in a familiar bedroom, though not my own, surrounded in sheets slick with sweat and clothes and makeup on every useable surface.

"Spencer?" Thats when I notice Aria's face in the corner of my vision, her immaculately groomed eyebrows furrowed in concern as I try to catch my breath.

"Aria? What's going on? Why am I here?" I manage to squeeze out of my dry sandpapery throat. I look down and see that I'm wearing a pair of Aria's fleece striped pajama pants and my own white long sleeved shirt. Definitely not what I remembered wearing.

"You were having a nightmare," she says, sweeping her hair into a floppy side ponytail, "You kept screaming the word no over and over again. You came over last night hysterical about your parents and Toby, don't you remember?" I racked my brain for any possible memory of last night, succeeding in retrieving a few grainy snippets of walking over barefoot, tears blurring my vision.

"No, I don't remember a lot of last night..." I trailed off mid sentence, looking around the room and struggling to clear the sleepy blurred vision from my eyes. A nightmare, oh great. Now I'm not even safe in my dreams. I'm not safe anywhere. Not at home, not at school, not at the police station... and now not even in my own subconscious.

**Aria's POV**

I looked over at Spencer concerned. She looked disheveled, with hair wild and messy, mascara making huge dark circles against her porcelain skin. A tear escaped her eye, and trailed down her cheek.

"Spence? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked inquisitively. She frantically wiped the tears rolling down her face away with the back of her hand, refusing to look directly at me.

"Is it Toby?" She met my eyes for the first time since she woke up, and I could see the pure fear and vulnerability in them. It's very unusual for Spencer, she's always been the strong one of the group, the one who refused to let anyone mess with her or any of us. She slowly nodded her head, audibly clearing her throat.

"Yeah," she said disheartenedly, "It is. My parents won't let me see him anymore." She started to pick at her peeling mauve nail polish.

"They did not! " My tone was one of disbelief. How could they do that? Toby is like a sweet little puppy. A saddened nod from Spencer confirmed what I believed was impossible.

"They did. They didn't want the neighbors thinking that their daughter was involved with someone like him."

"But we ARE your neighbors! And we couldn't be happier about you two!" I crossed over to the bed, sitting next to Spencer's upright body, tears flowing down her face again. "Come here." I said, wiping away the tears from her face. "I have an idea."

xxx

**Spencer's POV**

The hot water hurt as it trickled down my body, my muscles aching from yet another night of Ian's cruelty and strength. New bruises appeared on my wrists and sides, covering up the other almost healed ones that had turned a sickly yellow color. I grabbed some of Aria's shampoo, massaging it through my hair and scalp and rinsing. The plan was genius really. That tiny little girl _was _a genius. It was almost summer anyway, just one pointless week and some change left of school since finals were over. I would just tell my parents I was going to Aria's, and Toby and I would meet up here. Simple, yet effective. And I got to get out of the house and away from the monstrous family that eats its own young. I shut off the water, trying not to look at my battered and tired self in the mirror. I picked up the clothes Aria had set out for me, a long sleeve yellow sundress with a lace bodice that looked way too big for her and small for me. I slid it over my head, the soft layers of cotton swishing around my knees. Good. It covered all the new bruises from last night. Toby wouldn't know if he couldn't see them. I slid the smoking slippers onto my feet and wringed out my hair into the sink. I didn't bother doing my makeup, I just placed my hand on the cool brass doorknob and exited the bathroom, a cloud of steam and condensation escaping from the room.

"Oh that fits perfectly!" She chirped from the windowsill.

"You think?"

"Totally! keep it! Toby's downstairs making some breakfast." With almost catlike grace she crossed the room and gave me a peck on the cheek, having to stand on the tiptoes of her burberry wedges. "Love you Spence, now go!" She said, placing her small hands on my back and ushering me towards the door of her room. I bounced down the stairs, almost happy for the first time in the last week or so. I crossed into the kitchen, the sunlight streaming through the bay window centered above the old fashioned gas stove. He was there, his back to me, standing in the doorway of the refrigerator, looking concentratedly for something.

"Toby!" The word escaped my mouth, breathless and fluid like the wind. He whirled around and looked at me, his eyes lighting up in a giant smile. He quickly crossed the room, taking me up in his toned arms and pressing his lips to the bridge of my nose. I folded my hands behind his neck, digging my head into his shoulder, the familiar and comforting scent of vanilla after shave filling my nose.

"Spence! I was so worried about you last night! After your father kicked me out and Ian and all of it.. I'm just so happy to hold you again." I unburied my face and looked up into his baby blues, guilty for ever thinking I wasn't safe. I was always safe with Toby.

"I am so sorry, you don't even understand how I bad I felt after. I tried to explain but he just wouldn't listen!" His face smiled down at me, relief crossing his chiseled features.

"It doesn't matter now," he said, pulling me closer, "we have an amazing day planned and better get going! He softly pressed his mouth to mine before crossing to the polished island and grabbing his keys. "Let's go babe." I took his hand in mine and yelled up the stairs to Aria, telling her we were leaving. We walked through the door and out into the clear blue day, Toby's hand never leaving mine.

xxx

**Tobys POV**

The smell of tattered leather and paint mixed with the salty fresh air as I drove us into the parking lot. During the entire drive I had been sneaking looks at Spencer, her bare feet curled up under her in the passengers seat of the truck, the window down and her hair blowing slightly away from her face. The radio was on and she was singing softly to a Rocket to the Moon. The tires crunched over sand as I cut the engine.  
>"Surprise! We're here!" I said to her, crossing the seats and kissing her on the cheek. A look of surprise and excitement crossed her face, and it was the first time I had seen her look so carefree since what happened. It still infuriates me to know that Ian touched Spencer, my angel. The car door shutting made a metallic clang that was quickly displaced by the sounds of seagulls and ocean waves. I crossed to the back, and got the checkered blanket and thatched basket from the truck bed.<p>

"Are we having a picnic?" She teased from beside me, playing with her auburn waves.

"Why yes Ms. Hastings, we are. May I escort you to the table?" I retorted back, using my greatest waiter imitation. She started to laugh, grabbing her flats from the front seat and holding them between her hands. I led the way across the sand dunes, the sea grass rippling in the ocean breeze, a lot like the beach scenes in the movies you see on ABC Family. Oh. There's a perfect spot. I led her to a shady patch under one of the slim trees right on the sand. Spencer's giggles carried on the breeze as she ran to the water. She was too adorable, and for right now she was all mine, no matter what her parents said. I laid the blanket out on a patch of flattened sand under the tree and started unpacking the lunch, watching in the distance as Spencer played in the waves at the shore.

"Spence!" I called out, running towards her, the sand hot under my recently bare feet. "Come on lunch is ready." She ran up to me and took my hand in her free one, and I could see she wasn't thinking about what had happened. She was thinking about this moment, right now.

**I wish i could do more tonight but I'm super tired :) So i hope you liked it! I would also like to say that I figured out what I'm gonna do with the story! I'm planning on adding five or six more solid chapters of about this length. I am going to end the story before the premiere on January 8th, because I can't have conflicting SPOBY views in my head. I will probably start another story a little after that! So please REVEIW! i love them! and send a prayer to those affected in connecticut! /3**


	12. Interferance

**Feliz Navidad! Not many reviews on last chapter... was it bad? Oh well, here is the new plan: 3 chapters (this being the first one) before the premiere of PLL on the eighth. Sound good? :D Im super scared for it just because the trailers make Toby look so bad like showing up with flowers and then talking to Mona... AHHHH!**

**Spencer's POV**

"Come on Aria! We're gonna be late! You know I hate being late..." I called out, swiping on one last layer of lipstick in the hallway mirror. For the last week, the red slashes made with Sharpie on the Calendar had been counting down the last few remaining days of the Spring Semester. With finals over, there was little work to be focused on, so I had been able to fill my days with crashing at the Montgomery house, college preparations, secret dates with Toby, and applying for Summer programs. Now that a bright slash covered the last day, the whole gang was going out to dinner at the Grille to celebrate.

"I'm almost done!" Aria's chirpy voice called out. Her heels clanged against the wood as she appeared in the doorway, ready to go.

"DAMN! Someone's looking impressive..." I said, making her giggle in her girlish way. Her lace dress complimented her small frame, making her seem smaller than normal.

"Well look who's talking!" She said, linking her arm through mine. I had to admit, I didn't recognize myself in the mirror at first glance. All the bruises had faded and disappeared, allowing me to wear the cute pale pink nautical style dress I had picked up for three dollars at a clearance sale in February.

"Alright lets get going!" I blurted out, grabbing the keys off the mahogany side table with one hand and shoving her out the door with the other, closing the door behind me with the sole of my pink ballet flat.

xxx

**Spencer's POV (still :)**

The Grille was packed with people, just as we thought it would be. Aria and I pushed ourselves through the wall of cheaply perfumed patrons, looking around for our table.

"You guys! Over here!" Hanna's voice rang out, so loud it was almost obnoxious. The other customers rolled their eyes impatiently as we elbowed our way towards the table of our friends, my eyes immediately finding Toby's, who was sitting next to my empty chair.

"Han!" I said, pulling her into a gigantic hug and probably wrinkling the front of her blue sequined dress.

"Ah you made it! We were starting to think that you guys were murdered or raped or something!" I stiffened subtly as she smiled and hugged back, before taking her place beside Caleb at the table. Taking my seat, I felt Toby's hand grasp at mine, and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty that I hadn't told the girls about Ian yet.

"Hey Spence." Toby said, giving me a peck on the cheek and a warm but knowing smile. "I was getting worried too." Heat radiated off of him as he looped his arm around my waist.

"Sorry about that," I started, "_Someone _had to redo her hair five times!" Aria, sitting on the other side of Toby next to Emily, blushed a bright hue of pink before retorting with a bashful tone, "It was only four!" The whole table burst out laughing at her display, and I could feel Toby's hands gently massaging my back, sending relaxing waves up and down my spine. It had been so long since I had felt this type of comfort and safety. There in the overcrowded restaurant smelling of bacon and coffee with Toby's arm securely around my back I was truly able to relax and enjoy spending time with the gang.

"So, I decided what summer program I'm applying too! Its the UPenn business program in Philly!" I declared, causing Han to roll her delicately black lined eyes and scoff.

"The last day of Spring Semester is barely over and you're already looking at some business program to waste your time in? You're insane." Hanna called back across the table, shaking her blonde bangs out of her eyes.

"Well I think its good for her!" Aria chimed in, hitting Hanna straight in the forehead with one of Emily's french fries. "Its good to have the old Spencer back." She finished, ducking to prevent getting hit by Hanna in retaliation.

"What do you mean the 'old spencer' back!" A chuckle escaped my mouth as I said it.

"Well the last few weeks you were acting distant and very un-spencerly." Em called out, simultaneously checking herself out in one of the silver spoons.

"What I have not!" Five pairs of disbelieving eyes stared my way. "Okay maybe I have," I said, blushing slightly at the confession, "But at least I'm doing something productive with my summer!"  
>"Hey, my summers not <em>un-<em>productive!" Han retorted, stressing the un. This time all the eyes turned towards her and she held up her perfectly manicured hands in defense. "My summer will be full of hot shirtless guys and tonsil hockey on the beach!" Caleb stared at her with mock-surprise, before blurting out, "Did I hear _guys _in that sentence. As in plural! Hanna Marin!" He said sarcastically, before putting his arm around the back of her chair and playing with the ends of her golden locks.

"You know I meant you!" She replied, swatting the center of his gray flannel shirt playfully.

xxx

**Toby's POV**

Dinner was served and eaten in the blink of an eye. Looking down at my watch, I saw the silver hands had ticked to show that it was 10:45. Caleb was emphatically telling a story about California, using his hands to portray huge waves and the sizes of sharks. Spencer was curled up in her chair, snuggled into my side like a baby chihuahua. The story came to an end and the whole table erupted into a fit of laughter, Hanna banging her hands on the table hard enough to rattle the remaining silverware. A small chuckle escaped my lips too, even though I had heard the story dozens of times. I watched Spencers eyes light up as she laughed along, adjusting her headband. I'm glad she was finally able to enjoy herself again. At first, when Hanna had blurted out why she was worried about them I thought Spence was gonna be in a mood for the rest of dinner, but she barely even flinched once she sat down. I felt something under the table vibrating and Spencer reached down uncomfortably to pick up her phone, cradling it in her hands. I watched as the expression on her face changed from relaxed happiness to confusion to stressed annoyance.  
>"Spence? What's wrong? What does it say?" I asked, whispering into her hair so the others couldn't pick up the change in her demeanor. She flicked her wrist towards me, rotating the screen underneath the white tablecloth so I could read it.<p>

From: Mom 10:48 P.M.

Spencer it's time to come home. You're being difficult. We need to talk about your summer plans. Come home quickly, there is no discussion.

"Fabulous..." she swore under her breath. "This is just fabulous." I reached down and took her narrow chin in my hand, tilting it up to look at me.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked, concern evident in my furrowed eyebrows.

"No, I'll be fine. I'm pretty sure they would freak out more if they knew I was with you." She smiled sweetly. "Can you take Aria back to her house?" Of course, I replied leaving a soft kiss on the top of her perfect button nose.

"Sorry guys I've gotta run!" She declared, pushing her chair back from the table with a dull thud. "Family stuff." A chorus of goodbyes and promises to text filled the now lifeless restaurant as we watched her disappear out the double glass doors of the Grille.

xxx

**Spencer's POV**

I killed the engine as the car came to a stop on the crunching gravel driveway. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the warm, stale air. I looked up at the now unfamiliar house, filled with tainted memories and frosty inhabitants. Opening the car door, I swung my legs out and was met with a burst of refreshing, cool summer air. Walking up to the house, I could make out voices talking in the living room, but couldn't make out who or what they were talking about. I took out my jangling keys, nervously flicking through to find the bright brass key with the house number on it. I pushed through the door, and immediately the buzzing voices stopped. Standing in the middle of the living room was an irritable looking Melissa, clutching her swollen belly, both of my icy parents, and Ian. An involuntary shudder ran down my spine as I saw him, his mouth twisting into a perverted half smile.

"Uh.. Hi?" I said, closing the door behind me and trying not to look weak. The last time I was in the house, this same position awaited me, though then I had Toby to support me and keep me upright. Spread out on the table were tons of obnoxiously printed brochures, a couple of which my mother was grasping in her hands.

"Spencer." She said coolly, folding her arms over her chest. "I see you got my text."

"No," I replied sarcastically, "I just like visiting this dysfunctional family because I enjoy it." I said, leaning against the beige wall, blatantly refusing the seat on the couch my mother was gesturing too.

"Don't be fresh Spencer." My dad said, adjusting his silver rimmed glasses from the plush overstuffed armchair.

"Anyway," my mother began again in her monotone voice, "Tomorrow is the first day of summer, and we know you'll have a lot of free time. Time you will probably spend with that insufferable Cavanaugh boy." Rage boiled inside of me, consuming my fiery limbs and mind. I opened my mouth to retaliate but was cut off with a swift motion of my mothers wrinkling hand. "Now. You have been just as insufferable lately. Lying, running away to the Montgomery's, blatantly disobeying our wishes. So, your father and I decided the best course of action was to send you to this." She paused, throwing a flimsy brochure towards me. Catching it, I read the white lettered title. University Of London College Preparatory Summer Program.

"What Mom you can't be serious! You're sending me to London?! That is 3,000 miles away, you can't do that!" I started, raising my voice towards her, "I already got accepted to the UPenn program." This time, It was Ian's shrill voice that cut me off.

"Look Spencer. You can't get everything you want all the time. Your parent's already signed the paperwork, and they already called UPenn, informing them of your refusal to attend. Your plane leaves in three days." He picked up a thick manila envelope of information and tossed it on the floor in front of me. Bending down, I scooped it up in my hands, tears starting to blur my vision. I flipped through the packet quickly, seeing a one way ticket to London in three days time, a printout of my schedule, a map of the campus, and a packet of what I'll need, where I'll be staying and a sheet informing me of monetary expenses and roommate profiles. "This- This isn't fair. What about my friends, what about T-" I stopped short, refusing to give them the fight they were anticipating. There was no way I could fight my way out of it. The only way I wasn't going was if I was dead. The tears started to subside, as I icily met their stares.

"I'll be back in the morning to pack." Ian's face subtly lit up at the opportunity to get me alone once more. "With friends." I added for good measure. That's one thing this Summer Program could offer me, a whole two months away from the conniving monster that haunted me whenever he was around. I turned on my heel and fled the house, leaving the door ajar and running out breathlessly into the yard underneath the midnight sky. I grappled for my phone, hitting the first person I had to talk to. It rang in my ears, once, twice, three times before a voice answered the line groggily.

"Toby?"

**hehe i know what you're thinking that things couldn't get worse and all but you will be so super surprised at the next couple chapters! SO. SUPER. SURPRISED. :) Please review because they inspire me to write more/faster/better so YAH! Happy New Year xxx Lottie**


	13. Freedom

**ohmygoodness. anybody else see the Behind the Scenes cast interviews on ABC family for the PLL premiere. Oh I cry EVERY time Lucy brings up how Toby's part of the A team and how its a big shock to Spencer.. :'( So second to last chapter ahhh excitement! Review? xxx Lotts**

**Spencer's POV**

Pressure started to build behind my eyes as I hugged the girls goodbye. Their perfumes mingled together, filling my nose and making my head spin. The lack of oxygen made my lungs burn, Aria's soft cries mixing with the regular airport noises of crying babies, loading luggage, and the pre-recorded electronic voices on the intercom, staidly calling out an endless array of planes, departure times, and hangar numbers. I grasped at fistfuls of fabric, clutching the girls closer to me, not wanting to let go and face the finality of my situation.

"I don't want to go." I managed to choke out, holding onto them tightly.

"Its only two months Spence, I mean we can Skype right?" Emily said, breaking apart from the hug to fix her smudged mascara. I unclenched my fists, and shifted the weight of my suede carry-on shoulder bag, holding everything I would need to keep my mind busy on the twelve hour flight.

"You're right Em. We'll skype every weekend, and I'll send postcards and photos and-" my voice hitched up an octave, stopping my sentence short. I craned my neck to look around the airport, the sea of people scurrying in all different ways making it nearly impossible to find the one person I was really looking for. The floppy brown hair and caring blue eyes of the one person I needed to see was nowhere to be found. My eyes roamed the pale yellow wall of the terminal, my heart sinking as I read the time on the analog clock hanging above Security. There was five minutes until they began boarding the plane. Aria's face was buried into Ezra's shirt, his arms clenched tightly around her. Even Ezra had come to say goodbye, so where was Toby?

**Toby's POV**

The sea of people in the terminal made it hard to move, hard to breathe, hard to even think. It was chaos, people running around to go through security, finding lost children and lugging around bulky baggage carts. Paper's crumpled in my pocket as I half walked half frantically searched through the crowd to find her. Eyes sweeping the room, I discovered a clock, saying there was less than three minutes until boarding started.

"Shit!" I swore under my breath, earning dirty looks from a mother of three standing nearby. I picked up the pace when I saw a customer information desk, practically colliding with a brass baggage cart.

"Watch it!" A gruff voice called out angrily. I slammed my hands on the desk, partially to stop myself from running and partially to get the woman's attention. She jumped a little in her seat, obviously annoyed.

"Plane B to London-" I panted. "Which Gate?" She casually checked something on her computer, taking much longer to reply than usual. Adjusting her blue uniform scarf, she replied distastefully, "Gate 3. Boarding starts in two minutes." I was off, running through the crowd, knocking down a plastic potted plant as I passed the exit of Gate 1. The signs overhead passed quickly, the green lettering directing me to the Gate I wanted so desperately to reach in time. Turning a corner, my foot caught on the wheel of someone's luggage, sending me sprawling right as I was reaching the exit of Gate 2. A chorus of angry sighs and snide remarks filled the air as I straightened myself up and took off again, running faster than I ever had. "Less than one minute till boarding," an electronic voice from the intercom filled the air, my legs carrying me so fast it was almost painful. The shoulder strap of my duffel dug into my flesh, so hard it was impossible to focus. The sign above my head read Gate 3. I stopped short, skidding on my faded yellow sneakers and almost toppling into an elderly lady with hair so white it looked translucent. Mumbling an apology, I frantically scoured the room, looking for Spencer. A group huddled by the window caught my eye. I squinted, trying to get a better look at them, adjusting the duffel bag and alleviating the pain in my shoulder. One tall auburn haired girl broke apart from the hug and looked around the room. Even from this distance I could recognize her hazel eyes, her button nose, the way her waves cascaded down her back.

**Spencer's POV**

I broke apart from the suffocating hug, looking around anxiously. The others sensed why I was upset, it was kinda hard not to notice who was missing from the group. I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, gathering my carry on from its position on the tiled floor and adjusting it, before fishing around inside for my boarding pass. I heard heavy pounding on the floor, like someone running, and whirled around just in time to see him skid to a stop. He was out of breath, panting wildly, his chest heaving and his hair going in all different directions. His face was fire-hydrant red, and he was adjusting a black duffel bag on his shoulder.

"Toby." I whispered under my breath. Our eyes met, a smile instantly spreading across my tear stricken face. A loud noise echoed throughout the terminal building, as I let everything fall to the floor and took off running myself.

"Toby!" I called out louder, as he dropped his duffel to the floor. I flew into him at the full force of my running, knocking him a little off balance. His arms wrapped around me tightly, lifting me off the ground and clutching me to him. He kissed my cheek, my forehead, my nose, until finally our lips met. Dizzy and out of breath, I broke the kiss, burying my head in his blue cotton tee shirt.

"I thought you weren't going to make it." I whispered into him. He placed a kiss on the top of my head, clutching me tighter to him.

"I wouldnt dare." I felt a smile spread across his face.

"Spencer!" A clear voice rang out from behind us, one that could only belong to the infamous Hanna Marin. "Spencer! The plane is boarding!" She said, waving her arms and picking up my battered purple coach bag.

"Toby.. I don't want to leave you." I said, my eyes starting to well up as the group approached us.

"Hey-" he started, tilting my head up with his hands, "-hey don't worry. You don't have too." He gestured to his black duffel bag on the ground, a huge grin on his face.

"What are you talking about?" My face must've displayed my confusion, because he started fishing around in his pocket, taking out crumpled up papers.

"I couldn't live with myself if I let you leave for the summer. I just couldn't," Hanna's high heels clicked across the airport terminal, getting closer. "So, I went online, and I did this." He said cryptically, flattening out his papers and handing them over to me. I rifled through them quickly, not believing what he had done. In the pile there was a boarding pass for Plane B to London, two metrocards, a printout of the metro system with an area circled in bright red sharpie.

"Toby..." I said speechlessly. I covered the huge grin on my face with my hand.

"Do you see this area, circled in red? That is the University of London campus, and this," he said, pointing to a silver star a couple streets over, "Is the apartment I rented." A sheepish smile spread across his cheeks, and he stuck his hands in his pockets boyishly.

"Ohmygosh this is amazing, you are amazing how did you-" Hanna grabbing my arm impatiently shut me up.

"I'll tell you everything on the plane." He said, picking up his duffel and intertwining his fingers with mine. I turned to face the group, but was suffocated by one last crushing hug, this time for both of us. More tears and smudged mascara followed, and we only broke apart when the electronic voice called out that it was last chance for boarding passengers to get aboard. We called out a chorus of rushed goodbyes and hastily ran to the plane, fingers still intertwined.

xxx

**Toby's POV**

It was easy to find our seats now that everyone was already seated and impatiently waiting for us to pass by.

"Explain to me again how you were able to get your seat right next to mine?" Spencer asked, slumping into her window seat exhaustively, fixing her black headband.

"I called the airline and told them you had a fear of airplanes and I needed to sit next to you." I said, smiling and putting an arm around the back of her chair.

"You did _what_?" She laughed unbelievably. "Why would they change seats around for that?"

"You can be suprised at what people scared of airplanes can do.." I trailed off cryptically, handing her a ginger ale from my bag.

xxx

**Toby's POV (still :)**

The hours passed by quickly as we got closer and closer to the gleaming city of London. I told Spencer how I had registered to take some business classes at the University so I could eventually own my own construction crew. I told her how my boss had set me up with a construction job in London, one that was 20 minute metro ride away from the apartment. I talked so much I didn't even realize her breathing had slowed down and she had fallen asleep, curled up in her seat, her head resting on my shoulder. The plane had grown dark in the cabin and all around me people were dozing lightly. One of the stewardesses came by briefly, the same one that had fallen victim to my hysterical demands for Plane B earlier that day. After a quick hushed conversation, I had apologized for the way I acted with her and her to me and I even got a free blue blanket for being so "gentlemanly." I tucked the warm fleece around my legs, also putting it around Spencer's when I realized the cold cabin air was making her bare legs freeze.

xxx

**Spencer's POV**

I woke up sleeping on Toby's arm, bright light from outside shining through the window, blinding my eyes. I stirred, stretching out my legs in the narrow room between seats. My shorts were crumpled, and my mint sequined tank top was in complete disarray. I combed my fingers through my hair and glanced at my silver watch. It was almost 5:00 am in America, meaning it was about 7:00 am here over the Atlantic Ocean. A stewardess at the front of the plane announced that it was an hour before we would land at the airport. Toby stirred beside me, also stretching out his legs in the narrow space.

"Good morning." I chirped, kissing him on the cheek.

"Its morning?" he asked, disoriented.

"Yeah sleepy head." I ruffled my hands through his floppy bed hair. "I woke up a couple minutes ago, thought it would be nice if we made a list of places near the campus that we wanted to go." I searched through my carry on for a pad of paper and a pen, finding the one with endless games of hangman on it from last night.

"Alright.." Toby said sleepily, "But i need-" His eyes widened at the breakfast sandwich on his table tray. "-food.." He turned to me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before devouring it.

"Okay," i started, "We should start with the obvious ones. You know the ones that all the tourists go see." I started to scribble in the book, 1). Big Ben 2). Houses of Parliament 3). Buckingham Palace 4). Hyde Park 5). London Eye . I stopped to think, tapping the edge of the pen against the paper pad repeatedly.

"What about the globe theatre, its kinda far away but you love Shakespeare so thats definitley something to put on there." Toby said, putting his arm around me.

"You know me so well.." I replied with mock surprise. I scribbled it down on the list, along with Pollocks Toy Museum, Harrods, and the British Museum. Pretty soon the plane was landing, and Toby and I watched out the window as the beautiful large city got closer and closer and we could start to make out buildings and cars and people. The hour whirled by in crazy chaos, hundreds of people trying to get their luggage from the overhead bin at one time, milling in the terminal, trying to get through customs, and eventually trying to get a cab. We collapsed in an unoccupied bench outside the terminal, exhausted and jet lagged, but excited to be in this unfamiliar city with so much to offer.

"Well," Toby said, "You wanna start that list?"

**AWW i had so much fun writing this because this will be my life. I love london and want to go college there so badly! /3 REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! ;) xxx Lottie **


	14. Sunshine

**My heart is breaking from the episode on Tuesday... oh my gosh. She figured it out. Ughh I can't even. I just can't. So I decided to continue the story a little longer than I originally intended to, so this is one of those awkward filler chapters! But enjoy it anyway! :) And please reveiw with your suggestions, they make me happy! xxx Lotts**

**Spencer's POV**

The view out the window was something else, so entirely different from the ornate houses and sprawling lawns of Rosewood. The sun rose early, lighting up the sharp lines and window panes of the buildings across the street. Running in the city was gorgeous, getting lost in the endless alleyways and streets bursting with people. I couldn't believe it was all ours to enjoy. Toby and mine. No one from my crazy horror-story family could touch us here. I could see myself living here forever, in this cozy little apartment, going to college at UCL or Oxford or Cambridge, raising my own children far far away from my old life. I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me, breaking me out of my digressing thoughts.

"Good morning." Toby said, kissing me on the cheek. "You should look at the fridge.." He said cryptically, leading me towards the tiny kitchenette. Hung up on the fridge was the list. The list we made the first day in the airport terminal of all the places we wanted to go, and the very last one had been crossed off with black marker. Smiling to myself, I looked up at Toby, so lucky to have someone so special in my life.

"Its all crossed off!" I said, giggling. His arms tightened around my waist.

"Yup. Its been one full week in London, and we have officially passed the tourist stage." He said, winking subtly.

"I know!", I replied, "Yesterday, I took the Metro without a map!" His face lit up with mock surprise, as he crossed the tiny kitchenette and popped a grape into his mouth from the mahogany fruit bowl.

"Oh really.." He drawled out, rolling his eyes and popping another grape in his mouth. "You, my dear Spencer Hastings, are a pro." A warm smile spread across my face, as I crossed over and stole the grape out of Toby's hand. Popping it into my mouth, I couldn't help but smile some more at my amazing boyfriend. And it was true- he is amazing. Hell, he flew to London for me.

"Ya know... I never thanked you for flying out here with me." I said shyly, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck. His eyes looked down at me sweetly, nothing but pure affection and kindness consuming them.

"Ya know.. I never thanked you for making me the happiest guy in the world." He replied, placing his sugary lips on mine. His hands wrapped around my waist, tightening as the kiss grew deeper. My hands ran through the wispy hair on the back of his neck, my thumb running over the scar on his lower neck, where he was cut when scaffolding collapsed at one of his jobs a couple months ago. I could feel Toby pushing me against the refrigerator, the cool waves instantly cooling me off in the city heat. A plaguing thought pushed at the back of my mind, about the conversation I had woken up determined to start with him. I tried to push it away and enjoy the intense kiss but it wasn't any good. Breaking off the kiss, I caught my breath, hands still entwined around Toby's neck.

"Hey.. what's wrong? What are you thinking?" He said carefully, brushing a flyaway hair from my face. I looked up into his concerned eyes, feeling a little bit more guilty.

"Alright... Toby. I feel guilty. I've been feeling guilty for a while. I just can't help it anymore, I have to tell you." I bit my lip, untangling my hands and sitting on the tiny cream loveseat.

"Why? What's up?" He followed me over, sitting next to me and taking my hands in his.

"Well, remember that night when we sat at our favorite spot overlooking Rosewood?" I looked over at him, wondering whether I should continue. "Yeah well I promised that when I was ready, you were going to be my first time."

"Yeah Spence? What about it?" His eyes watched me carefully, his floppy hair catching random rays of sun from the window behind us. His hand rested on my bare knee, his thumb gently massaging circles into the soft area of skin. My thoughts wandered to all the nights of this past week. The first night Toby slept on the couch, afraid it would be imposing too much if we slept in the same bed. The second night, he heard me screaming, having another nightmare, and he came in and just held me. And he's been doing it every night since then, falling asleep and waking up with me. I turned my attention back to the conversation, meeting Toby's baby blues again.

"I just feel like I've cheated you. I feel like you deserve much more than me- I mean because we haven't slep-" he cut me off quickly, his apologetic stare burning into my memory.

"No Spencer. I love you more than anything. And it was not your fault what happened to you. Okay? I don't feel cheated. I don't feel like I deserve better. I have you Spence. And if that means waiting until you're ready, thats something I can handle." He brought his lips to my cheek, leaving a series of kisses down the side of my face. I turned my face up to him, catching his eyes.

"How did I end up with such a perfect boyfriend?" I said coyly, smiling up at him.

xxx

**Toby's POV**

"Come on Spence!" I said laughing, waiting in the doorway of the apartment for her to finish getting ready. I was happy we had that conversation earlier, she needed to know that I wasn't ever going to pressure her.

"I'm coming!" She yelled back, her voice full of life. She walked out of the bathroom, her hair cascading down the back of her cotton tank top. I watched her as she slipped on her flats and grabbed her random things from around the apartment. She flitted back and forth, first to the chair to get her over the shoulder bag, then to the counter for her wallet, metro card, cellphone, and keys, and finally back to the chair to pick up her sunglasses.

"Ready?" I smiled at her holding open the door of the apartment. She rolled her eyes playfully and took my hand, both of us shutting up the apartment and heading out into the warm summer day. Quickly, we crossed the street crawling with red double decker buses- we had been on one a few days ago- and entered the little coffee shop on the corner of our street. The coffee maker in our apartment broke, so out of pure desperation and many unhappy mornings we found this cute little shop that Spencer actually enjoys going to. The bell over the door tinkled as we pushed open the door, the blasting air conditioning hitting us like a wall.

"I'll grab the coffees, you find a booth." I said smiling, untangling our fingers and approaching the counter. A couple minutes later, I was approaching the red leather booth Spencer had secured for us, holding one vanilla with a shot of peppermint and one hazelnut.

xxx

**Spencer's POV**

My thighs stuck to the uncomfortable red leather booth, the lazy fan turning in slow circles on the ceiling. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Toby approaching with the coffees. My cheeks spread apart in a smile instantly as he slid in across from me.

"A vanilla for you. And a hazelnut for me." He said excitedly.

"Thank god." I groaned quietly, immediately diving into the cold vanilla-y goodness. The taste filled my entire mouth, playing with all my tastebuds. I had never had coffee as addicting as this.

"Lets go out tonight." Toby said, his baby blues lighting up and his grin widening.

"Thats a great idea! We could go to Soho, I hear they have some really great dancing places!" I said, joining in with his huge smile. I felt him place his hand on my knee under the table.

"Oh and we could invite some of the gang." Toby suggested. Over the week we had been here we had both made some new British friends, Toby's from his construction job and me from classes. Toby's friends were funny and we got on well. Jasper reminded me a lot of Wren though, because they both have messy hair and are at med school. Alfie and Jerome are cool too. They've been friends since elementary school, and Alfie is dating my close friend Jordyn. Jordyn and Mollie are both in my college writing seminar and they've gotten on well with Toby the few times they've been to the apartment.

"I'll text them now!" I offered, rummaging through my bag for my phone and firing off a group text. "I should probably get going, class starts in thirty and I have to run back to the apartment to get my books." I said, quickly sucking down the rest of my coffee and grabbing my bag.

"Yeah you should, don't want to be late on the third day of class!" He teased from across the booth, rising and bringing me into a hug. His arms enveloped me, causing the now-familiar safe feeling to flood my body. I tilted my face upwards, kissing him sweetly.

"I'll see you when you get back from work." I said, not wanting to miss one minute with him, but knowing I had to go.


End file.
